fuukei @ 2009-12-07T03:11:00

2009-12-07T08:11:53Z

In spite of his rocky childhood, Stan Marsh lived a pretty goddamn awesome life. For starters, he drove the sweetest car in school, which he totally put his blood, sweat, and tears into fixing up ( it was a complete piece of shit when his dad gave it to him for his birthday last year ). He also happened to be the highly praised quarterback of the South Park Cows, and because he almost always lead the team into jaw-dropping victories, he was therefore well respected by nearly every guy in his class ( with the exception of that douchebag Craig Tucker who seemed to hate him by default - but who exactly cared what such a total asshole had to say, anyway ? ). Being so keen on his ability to properly execute his natural athletic talent also resulted in a lightly-tanned, totally in shape body that all the cheerleaders would probably do anything to touch - especially since Stan was such a goddamn /nice/ guy.

It was true what they said : good things really did come to good people, didn't they ? All those years of trudging through a never-ending mass of complete bullshit totally paid off in the end. Even his girlfriend was someone to brag about. Wendy Testaburger was not only insanely pretty, but super intelligent and not a complete skank like some of the other girls in his class seemed to be. And that was great news for Stan, because although he had absolutely calmed down his terribly weak stomach to the point where he could keep down his dinner whenever Wendy leaned in close, and was more than just a little affectionate behind closed doors ( PDA was cool, but he rather not have to go through with it - especially not in front of his best friend ), the thought of slipping his hand under her skirt was enough to make something inside his belly lurch with what he desperately denied was disgust. Oh, and speaking of friends ... well, having a /super best/ one was not only absolutely rare, but a damn near sacred bond between two individuals. Stan cherished and valued their loyalty toward one another with every ounce of his being ; especially since they really did grow up to be two completely different people. Like, the quarterback himself was a slave football practice and conditioning, the weekly team bonding dinner held over at City Wok, and of course ... games. That totally took up a lot of his schedule, and although he did notice Kyle came to just as many of his games as Wendy did, he knew his friend was also busy studying or babysitting his little brother while he was out tearing up the field. They lived totally different lives when they weren't spending every waking moment of free-time together, it seemed. It bummed him out to think that even the little bit they had now was being jeopardized by the threat of college tearing them apart for good. In fact, Stan found himself to be more distressed about their future separation than he was over the fact that he could hardly get past second base with his on-and-off girlfriend of almost nine years.

But, Wendy was totally not like her friends ; she understood that lust and physical contact was nothing to base your relationship around, right ?

... Well, it happened after football practice ; Stan had just finished toweling himself off from a quick hose down in the shower, because Wendy had told him earlier that they needed to talk as soon as he was free - and since he couldn't skip out on practice, he sweetly told her to meet him by the bleachers around 3:30, when all was said and done in the world of sports. The teenager put on the shirt he had worn during class earlier, slipped his tan Letterman jacket over his shoulders and checked himself out in the mirror before making his way outside to meet up with his girl. Even though he knew the whole, "we need to talk" almost always ended up on a /bad/ note, he was still feeling super confident.

"Stan ... I just don't think there's any passion between us. At the rate we're going ... we're never going to get closer to one another. I'm sorry ... but ... if we can't move past this, I'm afraid we're going to have to break up."

Forget his reputation and all the manly titles attached to his name in conversation ; those words were nearly paralyzing. In fact, Stan wanted to crawl in a hole and just /die/ right there and then, but not completely because Wendy actually, officially, and completely broke up with him. Yeah, that was devastating ... but she also put a lot of pressure on him that he didn't really need, so for some reason he could also feel some sort of weight being lifted from his shoulders. A weight that didn't particularly feel like he was glad to be rid of, either, because it left behind a gaping hole that needed to be filled with something new /as soon as possible/, or else he was sure to crumble down in a fit of self-pity and confusion. Not only that, but he didn't have anything to say to defend himself - he totally just let her turn around without begging for her to give him another chance. Bluntly, it caused him to feel like a giant piece of shit, because although the reason for being kicked to the curb was a little shallow, he also couldn't blame his now ex-girlfriend for it. He had let things get to this point - it was his own inner-demons and insecurities that brought them to this. He loved her. He knew she was pretty. But he wasn't attracted to her.

Stupidly enough, all his brain kept telling him was that he needed to talk to Kyle. Really ? He gets his ass completely dumped, and he can only think that he needs his best friend's comfort ? That was borderline gay, and it made Stan feel even more guilty ; so, during his walk home, he forced himself not to pick up his cell phone - not just yet. Though, as soon as he was safe inside his room with the doors locked and the lights off, Stan sadly plopped himself down at his computer chair and hastily accessed his way into ITUNES, just so he could blast 'Disintegration' by THE CURE on full volume as he finally allowed himself to give in to the desire of contacting his friend via text message.

'wendy dumped me ........'

As soon as he hit the 'send' button, Stan felt his eyes start to well up with tears. Maybe it was the sadness in Robert Smith's voice as he sang those painful lyrics that totally contradicted yet explained his situation beautifully to him ; maybe it was the fact that he finally realized he was actually single ; or maybe it was because he knew Kyle loved the song, and that's why he chose to play it in the first place.

For all the events he had gone through growing up, especially dealing with a Racist Fatass throughout the years, the young Broflovski turned out to be a fairly well-mannered, educated boy. Well, ex out well-mannered and you had him down to a 'T'. He was known as a braniac throughout the school by those who really didn't know him and to even those he did know. Cartman always told him it was cause he was a Jew and well, mebbe it was actually true. He had many scholarships already being offered to him and he was still in highschool, not even filling out the paperwork to get scholarships just yet and they were coming in like rain. He found that /that/ might've been the reason why not many chicks enjoyed his company cause he couldn't stand their idiotic nature and bubblyness such as he had found out with Bebe... they were all the same. So it was pratically understandable that Kyle was a lithe, pale-almost porcelain skinned male that most of the females flocked together about to say that he was gay- they were just jealous. But Kyle didn't care, he had a fucking awesome best friend that he could almost always go to and know that the male would be there to back him up if something ever went down. Yeah, he was sure of it.

Green eyes snapping back almost immediately to catch sight of his younger brother Ike trying to sneak his way out of the bedroom window as Kyle had done so many times before in his younger period of age as amusement seemed evident in his gaze. "Ike, get you damn canadian ass out of that window and into your room. You know Mum said that you are grounded and I'm not going to get in trouble cause you decide to go about and hang out with that little.. Goth kid. Go do the dishes, it's your chore anyway." He paused as he watched the other slink out of the window sill and towards the kitchen as Kyle had commanded. Fingers pushing the little blue earpiece back into his ear as the song /Boys Don't Cry/ started to blare itself once more as he was making his way towards the room. He should've known the song was a hint that something wrong was going to go on. It was almost like a premonition.

Making his way into his bedroom as his fingers lightly plucked at the loose fabric of the green sweatshirt he wore for the moment, something his mother had insisted on buying him after his last report
[00:08] kittiebehbeh: card which the young jewish male couldn't deny her... she had seemed infatuated with the damn thing and it was rather comfy, plush even. His gaze traveling about the room as he heard a light trembling noice - vibrating if you will- only to have his gaze come rest on his desk as a smile lightly tugged on his lips sa he knew it had to be one person and one person only, well it could be fatass but he doubted it. Fingers grasping the phone as it vibrated against the wooden desktop as he saw it was from Stan, his mood seeming to lighten until he read the actual message. 'Wendy dumped me.....' So many bloody dots. His lips tugging downwards into a small smile as his thumbs hovered over the digits before brows furrowing as he went to typing away the only message that might've been possibly soothing.

'aw, i'm sorry man. i mean that really does suck..... want to talk about it or something? come over and play video games, might cheer ya' up.'

Setting the phone into the back pocket of the bluejeans he wore just so he'd feel the vibration as he slid the other earpiece into his ear to continue listening to the music that always calmed him when he was done. No surprise when /Disintegration/ came onto his own music device, feeling as if it was what the other would be listening to also. They always seemed to have similiar music tastes or at least when it came to The Cure. Besides, Kyle was almost past obsessed with this song so he wouldn't go to far into thought as to why he was listening to it.

Maybe he was being a tad impatient, but Stan had kept the phone in the palm of his hand as he waited for his friend to reply to him. His eyes were fixed on the screen, unblinking and wide in order to keep himself from crying anymore than he already had ( because goddamnit, he was in high school now ! ). But it was hard to keep his jaw from quivering when he so desperately wanted to break into pieces, just like Robert Smith was in his song. Though, as soon as the special beep he had for Kyle's texts chimed, Stan pursed his lips together and felt a rush of nervousness flow through him upon reading that his best friend thought they should get together - it was almost like he was betraying Wendy's trust, which was completely stupid of him, and he knew it. But somehow, Stan knew that prominent emptiness - the hole that had probably even always been there - was just aching for Kyle to fill it up. His fingers awkwardly glided over the keypad as he tried to push those terribly gay thoughts into the back of his mind.

'ya ... i rlly need someone to talk to. actually, dude ... how about we go to like, starks pond ? ill pick u up'

The message wasn't sent ; it was totally typed, and his thumb was hovering over the 'send' button, but he just couldn't bring himself to push it. He only texted Kyle in the first place just to see if he was even around, because he didn't feel like being bitched at for interrupting some all-important study session or anything like that. So instead, Stan hit the 'cancel' key and quickly dialed Kyle's number, waiting not-so-patiently as he heard the other line ring.

Making his way down the stairs to make sure his brother was doing as he asked, cause he didn't want to get into trouble on his own end for not watching the shorter male, his fingers working to pluck the headphone back out of his ear as a soft laugh tore free from his lips. Wendy finally broke up with Stan, not the reason he was laughing, and Stan contacted him. He felt a bit of nolstagia in a sense, considering he'd have his old friend back all to himself. Ignoring the possessive though in that of course as it'd be just far too gay to acknowledge it. Though, as he thought only moments earlier, he'd have Stan to himself again; almost all to himself. All he could think of was that Wendy was out of the picture and he'd possibly doing late nights with Stan playing Guitar Hero or just sipping at some vodka or beer from his parents' secret stash. Aah, the glory days would be back.

Amusement dancing in his green eyes as he entered the kitchen to see Ike moping about something as he was working at doing the dishes that had piled up over the last few days. Nodding his head as he glanced at the clock, tongue flicking along his lowerlip as his fingers were working at removing the ringing cellphone from his pocket. "Look, Ike.. Georgie can come over until about seven.. Or whenever you hear Mum and Da' getting home, just make him sneak out the back door." He turned only to push the green button on his phone as he parted his lips. Making his way out of the kitchen, wondering who had called since he didn't check the caller ID as a smile curled his lips. "Broflovski here, what can I do for ya'?" He questioned as he tilted his head back just the slightest bit as he made his way towards the door of his home; plans of going over to Stan's already in mind.

As the phone was ringing, Stan stood to his feet and slowly walked toward the light-switch so he could look around for his car-keys. As much as he lusted over his car and the act of driving it, he didn't really take the vehicle to school very often - walking helped him keep in shape, and school was only a few blocks away from his house. But driving around town with Kyle ( or Wendy ) in the passenger side made walking feel like a totally barbaric method of transportation. Since he was otherwise still dressed ( he hadn't even taken his jacket off ), the boy felt comfortable enough to walk outside as soon as Kyle answered his call.

Stan let out a strained chuckle as he heard the other's dorky little way of answering the phone ; and since Caller ID was a fairly abused invention, the quarterback totally assumed that his friend knew it was him on the other line. "D-dude, you're ... you're such a fag," he said in a small voice, though he tried his hardest to mask up the fact that he had been crying, and was still in a struggle to keep himself from bursting into tears again. "I just ... I just thought that texting was lame, and ... like, I don't know, man. I was wondering if I could pick you up ? We could go to Stark's Pond and just sit in my car and talk for a little while. I know that sounds totally gay, but I don't want to risk getting my ass kicked a video game when we both know that would never happen under normal circumstances ..." he explained. Somehow, hearing Kyle's voice was strangely soothing - which was probably a /good/ thing, but not so much in his vulnerable state. Talking to Wendy whenever he was upset over losing a game never made him feel this way before - but with his best friend, it was always like this. Totally relaxing. And to make matters worse, 'Untitled' started to play behind him ; and those words ... they were totally relevant. The jock had to actually bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from sobbing right there and then. "I-I'll be there in like, five minutes if that's cool ?"

Kyle paused as his free hand quivered over the top of his jacket, the way Stan's voice seemed to sound so broken hit a chord inside of Kyle. His eyes widening as a soft gush of air spilled from his lips as he stayed silent to listen to the other talk. "Yeah, man.. That's perfectly fine, I mean I was just about to head out now but I guess I can stay and wait for you at my house... Just get here without crashin', alright Stan." He spoke instead of questioning the other though a light fear of the other crashing was evident on his features as he manuevered the phone back and forth between his hands to slide on the coat. "So I'mma let you go so you can start driving over here.. Talk to you soon." He didn't give the other much time to say anything as he pushed the 'End Call' button on his phone before sliding it back into his back pocket of the jeans. Tugging the music device out to throw it so it landed on the couch before glancing back to the kitchen were Ike stood talking on the house phone. "I'll be back!" And with those words, Kyle walked out the door to wait on the front doorstep of his house.

Weight shifting from foot to foot in order to keep himself mobile, a bit warm as he tugged the hoode of the green jacket up over his head as he hadn't been in to much of a hurry to go and grab his hat; no his mind far to focused on attempting to pick up the pieces of Stan. Hands tucked into the slightly fuzzy pockets as they twitched about eagarly, now and then tugging up the jeans that seemed to barely cling to his hips. Curls of the auburn hair peaking out from his hood as he watched the steamed breath spill from his lips everytime he decided not to breath out of his nose, murmuring to himself about being a 'mouth breather' every now and again as he let out a soft curse.

While most people naturally sucked at driving, Stan was actually born with a high degree of skill ; after all, he had been able to properly control a vehicle since the age of eight ( driving games really were highly educational ). And besides, where the football MVP's book-smarts ended, his common sense more than compensated. So even if Stan was a little messy, his head was always level enough to keep himself safe, though it was touching that Kyle would worry about him. his parents hadn't even been home from work yet, since it was still so early in the afternoon - and his sister had such a busy schedule juggling with her her full-time job, boyfriends, and classes at community college that she was hardly ever around anymore, either ( thank God ). He didn't need to say goodbye to anyone when he left anymore ; all he needed to do was open the door and leave. There was always a sense of freedom that came with living in a small mountain town ; you could walk wherever you wanted to without much thought about distance. But now that he could legally drive, the world just seemed so much bigger and more exciting - and more importantly, the distance between himself and Kyle was microscopic, when put into perspective. They lived so goddamn close that it felt like it took him longer to back out of his driveway than it did to actually travel down the road.

Though, Stan wasn't about to just back out in silence ; he fumbled through his collection of CD's in search of something mellow to listen to during their drive. Of course, he went right to his collection the 'The Cure' albums ( which were all totally bought legally, by the way ; ever since Robert Smith literally saved them all, he just couldn't cheat the guy out of money ... that would be ungrateful ), and his hands lingered over 'Disintegration' - but he ended up deciding on 'Faith' instead. As soon as 'The Holy Hour' started to play, Stan took one quick look at himself in his rear-view mirror, wiped at his puffy eyes, then backed out toward Kyle's direction. And while his mind was totally functional when it came to driving /properly/, it was when to stop that winded up being his downfall. That two second journey ended so abruptly that he almost forgot to start slowing down when he was at the house next to his friend's, so the brakes were hit just a little harder than that probably should have been. It wasn't a big deal, though ; Stan was able to swiftly cover up his mistake as he smoothly turned his car into the Broflovski residence, appearing to be totally calm and collected. He flagged Kyle toward him once he was at a stop, then leaned toward the passenger side in order to unlock the door.

His lips tugged into a small smile as he noted Stan's cover up, his eyes seeming to calculate everything whether it was right or wrong and he had noticed the other seemingly speeding from a bit away; possibly a more annoying trait of Kyle's. Feet padding against the lightly-snow dusted ground as he listened to the crunch beneath his feet as he made his way into the other's car. Fingers tugging that the hood of his coat once more before letting it fall as he shook his head from side to side as the auburn curls atop of his head seemed to bounce from the gesture. "Well, great to see you got here soon.. Didn't want to freeze my ass off out there." He spoke, a light tone in his voice as his gaze darted to take in the other's features with that calculating gaze, wishing for once he could keep himself from doing such a thing when he knew he couldn't.. He had to know everything, study everything, and then try to fix everything; meaning now he was here to pick up the pieces and reassemble Stan. His lips parting as they moved to purse forward slightly as a soft, breathy noise tore free from his lips as his fingers twitched with the urge to brush away a few strands of hair away from the other's features as he couldn't stop looking at the other's puffy eyes. He had cried over that Wendy bitch? Oooh, that made him almost silently seethe with rage. Though he kept his expression calm, a lazily smile there just for the other as he turned to lean back against the seat.

"So... What happen, man?" He questioned softly, almost hesitantly and regretting the words as soon as they spilled from his lips. He was never so careless to mention something as it had happen which was probably proving his curiousity was evergrowing. "What.. Why now? You two, mebbe not the most tightest couple, but you had been together.. Well, it was almost as if you had tied the knot with her."

"Yeah, dude, gotta look out for your best interests," Stan said quietly as Kyle made his little comment about not having to wait ; he knew it was an indirect pass on his speed, but the jock wasn't exactly in an arguing mood - not even if it was a playful one. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned his head to back out of the driveway, painfully aware of his friend's tendency to analyze anything he deemed to be damaged. Which was nice, in a way ; he could always count on someone to listen and actually try and aid him with his problems, because usually he was the one who had to sit through that crap when it came to people. But right now, knowing those emerald eyes were looking at him so intently ... well, it made his stomach start to quiver again, and he actually had to lean forward to turn up the stereo's volume just so he could distract himself. Maybe this was a bad idea ; maybe it was better for some longings to be left unfulfilled, because Kyle was smart enough to figure out what was wrong with him before he came to the conclusion himself. "'Kye, you really don't have to -- I mean, I'm okay," he said softly, his gaze ripping from the road and toward his friend just for a moment as he drove down their neighborhood. His words were an indirect way of saying he was embarrassed, because he had seen his eyes just moment before Kyle entered the car, and he knew what state they were in. Wendy wasn't ever Kyle's favorite person in the universe, either, which only made matters worse. Stan didn't want to give his ex a bad reputation or anything, and if the redhead was going to start blaming her for his distress, he would totally feel guilty about it. After all, it /was/ his fault.

Stan heard Kyle's question, but just shook his head in response ; he really didn't want to talk about it while he was still driving. The calmness of Stark's Pond would make him feel better about explaining why exactly he was dumped. He had never been one to talk about his ( lack of a ) sex life, because he wasn't going to lie about Wendy out of respect for her. No one ever asked him about it, either ; they had been together for so long that everyone just assumed they were and had always been, to put it bluntly, fucking. Stan hadn't even given Kyle any hint of being sexually frustrated, so to confide it to him now was going to be tough. But if he was ever going to feel even an ounce better, he had to. He allowed his friend to keep talking and questioning him as he pulled his car over to the edge of the pond and parked it so they had a nice view of the water, then put the car in park and turned down the radio again. This whole situation was feeling stiff and serious, and Stan knew if he didn't calm down soon he was going to blow up with pent up frustration. The only solution he could think of was to take a deep breath. "Okay, so ... dude, this is beyond embarrassing. And you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone, okay ? ... I ... well ... Wendy dumped me because ... I guess because ... I don't know how to word it," he said nervously, running his fingers through his dark hair as he glanced down at his lap. He could feel his face flushing with total shame. Come on, dude - way to be the football quarterback, right ? "She dumped me because I wouldn't have sex with her."

He felt as if his questions were being neglected at Stans' 'I'm okay' comment, not really pleased with it but Kyle didn't press on further that much anymore... Oh, he'd wait until they reached Starks Pond before he started to hound, drown Stan in so many questions that it'd take up almost all of the oxygen inside of the quarterback's little car ; okay so the car wasn't little but the redhead wasn't going to put much thought into it because it wasn't of importance. Kyle was focused on keeping a levelhead, keep his mind clear of any negative thoughts of the bitch, and listen to what Stan had to say completely and fully. Unable to keep his heart from hammering, possibly even hurting since he knew how his best friend seemed so torn up on the inside about it.

Shaking out of his silent, inner monologue to gaze back up at the other as he realized the car had stopped as his lips parted to release a soft breathy noise. "You know I'd never tell anyone." He spoke between the pause of the other's hesitation in wording before he froze at what the other said. His lips twitching in some sort of flittering emotion as he wasn't exactly able to even tell what it was as his gaze traveled about the other's form. Stan? Not having sex with Wendy? He was trying to get over that let alone the fact Wendy had dumped him for such a thing as he continued to stare ahead at the other with momentarily blank - green eyes. A hand slowly lifting to come and rest atop of the other's shoulder as he softly squeezed as the 'Braniac'was actually at a loss for words. "Well man, as cliche as it is to hear, one... She is losing a great man and I don't think she quite realizes it yet. Two, she's just being a loser because that is just such a controversial reason to break up with someone as much as it is lame." He paused, trying to get over the fact a female broke up with a male cause of no sex.. Not the other way around as it was common. Blinking his eyes a few times rather fast as a soft noise tore free from his lips, a simple sigh if nothing more, as he adverted his gaze. "Man, you shouldn't let it get to you. Obviously she only thought of you as a little sex thing for you if she broke up with you cause of lack of sex. I mean, it's a bit obvious and besides, you can definately find someone better than her. Keep your chin up~"

Stan leaned into the touch appreciatively, because the sensation he got from the simple contact actually made his shakey stomach feel warm rather than upset. He knew he could trust Kyle with his life ; in fact, Stan was certain that the only time his friend would ever tell a secret would be if he was doing something totally stupid, like cocaine or gambling or cutting himself -- life threatening situations that could only really be properly solved with the help of a professional. But even though this wasn't even close to anything like that, Stan still needed to make sure Kyle wasn't about to take what he said as a joke or something to loss around in casual conversation - god FORBID if Cartman or Kenny ever found out. Hopefully Wendy had the sense not to tell Bebe about it, either, but with his luck she was probably the one who coaxed the girl into dumping him in the first place. Girls always had to tell each other everything, didn't they ?

Stan could see that Kyle was surprised, though, which was strange because he personally couldn't picture his friend getting intimate with a girl ; even if Kyle was with someone, he just chose not to think about what they did behind closed doors. Did that mean that those sorts of thoughts actually crossed his friend's mind ? Maybe he was thinking too far into it all, but the quarterback just wasn't sure what to make of those expressionless green eyes. As he listened to Kyle's attempt at comfort, he didn't feel much better. His blue eyes were fixated on the other's lips, watching them form every syllable of every word he spoke so he could properly focus on what was being said rather than get lost in his own self-pity again. "Kyle," he said pathetically as his friend started to accuse Wendy of only wanting him for pleasure rather than a relationship, because that wasn't true at all ! But oddly enough, he couldn't find the strength to cut the other off completely. Though when he finally did, his voice was loud and defensive, and his body tensed with frustration. "Kyle, I wouldn't even touch her ! She just wanted to get closer to me, dude ! It's totally understandable, and I'm the douche who couldn't keep his head clear whenever things started to get too passionate. She was taking my rejection as a personal insult - like I didn't love her enough, or I wasn't interested in her anymore, or -- or ..." he paused. "... Or I was interested in someone else," Stan whispered as he looked down at his lap and slowly relaxed in his chair. Maybe he wasn't as confused as he originally thought. Lifting his head slowly so he could actually face Kyle, he bravely placed his hand on the other's knee. "In fact, I think she knew it all along."

He had never thought, for once, that his words would cause Stan to get seemingly so upset as his lips parted before closing.. And then opening again as if he were a fish who had been tossed onto a countertop and was silently pleading for water. His spine stiffening as he listened to the other speak, feeling as if the other was yelling as a light shiver shot down his spine only moments after. He didn't feel he had been harsh when involving the ebony-haired female or how he spoke of her as he barely listened to the other's words, halfway in and out of them. Brows moving to furrow together as his teeth nipped at the soft flesh of his lowerlip, moving it back and forth as he was rather silent in thought... Though he seemed to be jolted out of that quickly when he felt Stan's hand come to rest on his knee as his own hand jumped off of the other's shoulder only to push at the other's hand in a natural reaction of surprise as his eyes widened slightly as his breath caught in his throat. That's when Stan's last words seemed to click in mind in which Kyle told himself he was completely misunderstanding. Teeth releasing his lowerlip only to let out a soft noise in response, once again speechless as his gaze darted about the other's features before shaking his head from side to side with a soft, barely there laugh that was moreso for him than anything else.

"Man.. Your girlfriend just broke up with you, I understand that you are feeling lonely but.. Let's keep our thoughts rational here shall we?" He paused as his hand moved to rest on his knee where Stan's hand had been only moments earlier. "You're sad or possibly depressed.. Lonely.. And I'm the one that came to comfort you first and your emotions are probably confused and telling you to go for the first thing that gives.. Gives you comfort." His voice had quivered for a second as he paused to clear his throat, his mind overworking itself to come up with rational ideas as to why the other would even rest his hand atop of Kyle's knee ; yes Kyle found that to be quite a inquiry as to why Stan would do something like that as he was sure the ebonyhaired male knew what that gesture could mean. Gaze removing itself from Stan only to gaze forward at the interior of the other's car as his free hand lightly brushed along the glass of the window just for the cool feel of the glass. "There's many reasons as to why you are reacting as you are now and I think you just need time to think them over and.. Possibly just sleep, sleep it all of. You aren't thinking clearly and that is to be expected."

Stan's eyes widened painfully as Kyle released his shoulder ; he let out a whimper of disappointment as the degree of comfort he was feeling dropped, though that was nothing in comparison to the near-gasp he let out when his hand was actually pushed away. His thick eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and anger, because he hadn't meant to be flat - out rejected like that ; if anything, he was hoping his friend wouldn't fully grasp what he meant - that he wouldn't jump to conclusions, and assume he was talking about someone else when he said Wendy knew he was attracted to another person all along ... but, no. He just had to harbor feelings for a goddamn genius, didn't he ? And sadly enough, even with all of Kyle's book-smarts and vast knowledge on the world around him, the other teenager probably held the most expertise in the subject of 'Stanley Randall Marsh'. When Kyle laughed, it only reminded the quarterback of how stupid and full of regret he felt, because he knew he made a terribly bold move by going as far as to touch the other boy ; but it felt ... right, at the time. Like, his body was being pulled by imaginary strings ... was that instinct ? He had never been like that with Wendy before, and as scary as it was to not be able to even predict your own body's actions, it was also comforting to know that some things were beyond your control. Like, falling for your best friend and indirectly pushing your girlfriend away because of it.

So wasn't this the part where everything worked out ? Stan brought his scorned hand to his chest and clutched his shirt gently as Kyle tried to reason with him, but he didn't agree with any of what the red head had to say. Even if he was really sad, he wasn't lonely yet ; there wasn't time to feel lonely. "I am thinking rationally," he said with certainty before he pursed his lips together, nostrils flaring as he exhaled through them slowly. "Kyle, Wendy and I were together for a really, really long time. This has been going on all along, dude ... I just never fucking told you about it, because even if it was an issue to me, I didn't think it was bothering her. I never thought she actually wanted that stuff, but now that I reflect back on the past few months, I -- I've been blowing her off a lot, just because I knew if I stayed around her too often -- well, you know ..." he said shamefully as he pressed his back flat against the back of his chair and slumped into it, then allowed his blue eyes to slip closed. His fingers slowly uncurled from the fabric of his tee-shirt as he pinched the brim of his nose with his index finger and thumb, then added, "I'm really sorry, dude. I'm sorry for what I said and what I did, but I don't take it back. You know I can't lie to you."

．．say 「goodnight」、PRETTY☆DOLL ．．

fuukei @ 2009-12-07T03:11:00

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